It takes a Mother...

I was lying down at my usual salon at DH having my hair washed and getting ready for my long due hair cut. My eyes started to well up and tears streamed down my cheeks.

Yes. I was crying.

...

I was happily walking towards the salon and as I reached there, I heard a young lady's screams. Hysteric scream. I stood still. I saw her car all the way up the curb, obviously she reversed her car too fast probably and the whole car went up the wide curb. But her screams sounds panicky and onlookers rushed to help her. Kind Malaysian, I thought. But the face of all onlookers told me something is not right. She was looking down and looked away. Repeatedly.

I waved to my hairdresser and went in. I thought she was just a young girl driving her father's car and now so panicky for she knocked the car....

No..

I was told there is a BODY down there. A small girl. Maybe 3 years old.

My heart shivered. My body felt cold. My fingers went numb. 3? Just like Jien...Tears streamed down.

.....

Later on, the news came back and said that the lady was actually the driver AND the mother of the girl. She could have moved in the wrong gear and reversed too fast and knocked down the little one who was standing on the curb. They said the little one's head was crushed....Tears welled up again.

I don't know how I can be so sentimental. Maybe I am a mother now.

But life seems so fragile. Life can be so cruel, the way the daughter was brought to rest is just simply too unexpected and .........poor mother, how is she going to go through her life now knowing that she is the one who ramped her daughter under the wheels.....

.....

Even after I left the salon, there were still crowds at the site with police and ambulance..

I did not joined them. Yes, useless me. But what can I do? Watching her cry? I don't want to record the scene in my brain. I can go crazy..

With a heavy heart, I uttered a prayer for both the girl and the mother.

Rest in peace, little one. God loves you...

.....

Parenthood

I don't know how to begin writing this.

I was hilarious and merry on my last post and just on the same day, a matter of few hours, I was brought down to the lowest valley. My heart shattered, bled and I was in deep sorrow.

That very day, Jien was pretty much the same. Happily practicing his skill 'hitting' at the mouse and playing with his pass-down computer from me.

Perhaps he played too much on the screen. He was a bit blur, maybe. At night, he requested again to play. We let it be but after an hour or so, we reckoned it was enough for him. He was then showing a bit of tantrum and went to the kitchen and dished out his plastic bowls and ........

as I saw him coming out from the kitchen, I laid Jung for his bedtime. When I came out, Jien was already screaming and crying. He tripped and fell down on the floor and limping to his dad. I thought it was a normal cry. I reached for my phone for a missed call and called back a friend. The cry persisted. Hubby and I suspected something is not right.

After calming him down, he was still complaining of pain and refused to move his left leg. He was unstable emotionally.

We decided to go to the hospital to do an X-ray. We knew our boy would not cry - not this way.

We are right. He got a hairline crack - at his tibia and not his knee cap as we had suspected.

Now we knew why his cry was so heart-wrenching. My heart sank deeper and deeper when I see his tears flow with every small movement he made. It felt like needle pricking my own flesh. I kept holding back my tears for I do not want him to see that.

After the doctor did the cast (half cast), my brave boy was already waving goodbye to the doctor. I AM SO PROUD of him.

His progress in short :

Day 1 : Trauma. He could not sleep well not to mention that it was so hard putting him to sleep. He kept saying ' There, mama, there'. It took me 2 hours to finally put him to sleep. He woke up about 3 to 4 times midnight crying. Poor him. Mama and Papa? Drenched and worned out.

Day 2 : It was a Saturday. Hubby carried him to the living room to watch TV. He was put lying down the whole day. We had to put him on his diapers again. Emotionally not stable still. When aunt and Ah-Mah came to visit, he cried again. But he let his aunt carried him and he was actually in a 'sitting' position then.

It was the worse Saturday for all of us. By night, maid left. I did not made her stay. If only she has the heart to leave and not assisting an injured boy, why keep her?

We were left to nurse for our kids by ourselves. Well, good thing is we are hands-on parents so we are ok but we were drained out and so so so fatigued and knocked out. Jung was not his normal him that day which he would doze off by 7-8pm. He screamed and cried maybe for being too tired waking up the whole evening.

Day 3: Jien could sit up and he is not that bored anymore! Reason: he is on his lap top again. But we are the one that have to keep running to him for assistance to 'click' and 'drag' the mouse. Alamak! By evening, hubby took him to the park with his stroller. He was smiling again for he could get his ice-cream from the convenient shop again. :)

Jien with his make-shift table....

Day 4: Starting to feel bored with his lap top. (well, too slow the speed!) Nonetheless, he perfected the skill to 'click' the mouse. Hahaha! We could tell that the pain somehow wears off already. So at night, we took him to our neighbourhood shopping mall. He was ok in the car on his car seat. :)



Day 5: We noticed some mild rashes and I decided to try putting off his diaper. I lifted him up this morning and put him on his potty, he could do it. So I made him wear his training pants instead. Another improvement. :)

The next X-ray and appointment with the orthopedic will be on Friday. Though doctor had mentioned that it could be 6 long weeks on the cast, we are praying that it could be earlier. Can't wait to see my boy on his feet come running towards me..!

Happy Bird

Oh yes, I am feeling great today. I am not singing like a bird but I do feel like I am flying! Like a bird!

Why? Guess.....:)

a. Hubby is great. He gave me a new mouse for my computer as a Mother's Day gift.
b. My baby Jung is progressing well, he slept well yesterday afternoon.
c. My baby Jung is sleeping well last night.
d. I had a very very good sleep last night.
e. Jien's flu is finally off!
f. Jien is drinking a LOT of water lately, that makes me a happy mom.
g. Jien started to keep his toys if instructed (by me of course)!
h. I had a great session of yoga this morning.
i. I had a slow and relaxed shower this morning.
j. Jung is a happy baby this morning, he FINALLY smiles to me!!

Pick your choice...

And the answer is

YES!! ALL of the above. :)

9th Week

Time flies. Jung is already in his 9th week after birth.

He is such a serious boy. Till today, he has not shown his smile to me, not any of us. Ha ha... I wonder if he is really a choleric... Then it will be fun later as I am more sanguine, hubby a melancholy and Jien, a phlagmatic.

His colic has somehow subsided. Thanks to 'Poh Ying Dan' - a Chinese powdery medicine that I will feed him every morning. Just a little bit. He seems calm and comfortable after taking it and will fall back to sleep after a short session of breastfeeding.

He refuses colic drops. He would hold the drops in mouth and used his tongue to push it ALL out. He would cry with top volume after that with his face turning pitch red! Crying is one thing, sometimes with all this crying, he would puke the milk out! Gosh!! So no more colic drops. Anyway, that Dan also is good for overall health, so ahhhh.....never mind la! After all, my MIL is so happy that I do feed him that.

He loves people to carrying him around. In the park especially. So whenever we find that he had problem going to sleep, we would take him down to the park. It makes us wonder what is in the house that makes him stays awake?? (sounds spooky? ;P)

Well, he feeds on ONE side of my breast only for each feeding MOST of the time. I wonder if he is lazy, or he is sleepy or my breast is SO FULL of milk and he would be FULL so FAST? Sometimes one feeding would take less than 5 mins. So with not enough hind milk, his poo poo has turned watery. God bless us that that only last for 1.5 days, he started to drink longer (though still prefer 1 breast at a time) and the texture of his poo poo also looks better now. See, a mother has to always pay attention to 'SAI'!! Yeah, that is what we do best. kakaka!!

Since he loves cuddling so much, none of us are 'hands free'. And so it makes us all so busy from the minutes he wakes up from his sleeps. He kept changing his nap pattern in the day time especially. He used to sleep for an hour or so but now it is becoming shorter and yesterday, each nap only last for about 20 mins. Just enough for us to go take a nice shower or poo poo!! And then it would be exercise time for us carrying him and walking around the house. I guess I would be so masculine with my big springy muscle to flex on my arms if this carries on!! wakaka!

All right, but one thing sweet about him is he allows me to rest longer at night. His first sleep at night can last about 4 to 5 hours!! Then 3 then 2 then 1.5 and you know that he is about to wake up already...!! haha

Each child is different and I am ever ready to take on the challenge. From the minute I was pregnant with Jung, I was ever ready to take on the responsibility to love and care for this lovely boy of mine no matter what it takes!!

Twins

I ALMOST believe that I got myself a pair of twin brothers. The only thing is they are 2.3 yr apart...

Sling

This baby of mine can make fuss for hours - and want only people to carry him and WALK. Well, basically movement la. I think I should be losing weight fast because of this...

Got a sling before delivery. Only realizing that I got the wrong size after delivery. Got it changed the other day as I know I will be needing this URGENTLY.

This time around, no matter how the baby cries in it, I am going to just shut my ears at least for a few minutes and you, babe you just STAY IN THERE, babe!!

Looks like he is quite ok after a few struggles...And boy I could at least free my hand to take a picture with him...GOSH...

By the way, I do feel a bit like...er...kangaroo? :P

Schooling?

It sometimes bothers me to think about having to send my kid to 'school' next year. Jien is born few days short for another new year so I always think that it is unfair to start him early as he will be short of few months just practically do nothing but resting, watching TV and playing at HOME. He is just 2y 4m! Come on, giv him a break!

But lately, I notice something different of him. He is eager to go to the playground now. He starts to show some boredom to be frank. He can't wait till Saturday so that hubby will bring him for 'excursions' at parks or zoo or mallsssss....(again?) Even on Sundays when we are in hometown, he also showed some levels of 'boredom' unless his cousins are there to play with him.

Perhaps it is time to let him go. At least once or twice a week I guess. I was thinking of music and art class for now. Nothing acedemic. He has at least 20 years to do that so let him soak in the thing that he loves first.

Actually he is quite a fast learner; He could write most of the alphabet now and recognised both the capital and small letters. He could also write from 1-20 now..not bad huh?? He is also learning to count now. Shapes? Sap sap sui!!

p/s : Please..........we do not force him or anything but he is ever so in love with his drawing board and this is, I think, is his 5th ones....

Oh...I just hope I am doing the right thing.....CLASSES, here we come!

My latest Art Collection

Temperament Nature

When I had Jien, I used to listen to a lot of classical music and sing a lot in the morning. It turned out that I have a baby who loves art, singing and dancing a lot. He is a sanguine and phlegmatic baby. He is so people-loving and a smiley baby, till today.

When I had Jung, I had to go to the construction site pretty often and faced the terrible work of the contractor. Sometimes I had to scream for some shoddy work done. Instead of beautiful music, he was listening to the cranking and churning sound of construction! Back home, he had to tolerate me screaming at his brother for crawling all over my body when I was trying to get a good sleep after a long day...sigh...

So now I wonder if it is his natural temperament as I find Jung to be a bit choleric. He cried a lot (very LOUD!!) compared to Jien. Well Jien's crying was almost melodious as it was so soft! Hahaha!! Or is it maybe because he is not feeling good and he is trying to fit and adjust himself still? Ahhh...I just wish that he is healthy and fine...Time will tell if this baby is going to be choleric and giving instructions ALL THE TIME in the future, hahaha!!

Whatever it is, his crying is definitely LOUD! So LOUD that I wonder what is really wrong and I almost got heart attack! Aduh!

BUT

whatever it is, I LOVE him so so so dearly!!

and

so is his brother - look how Jien could still smile when his brother is crying his lungs out!! Hahaha!

Hair-Pulling Week

It was the first week to go without a CL. Both me and maid were doing quite all right at first. Strangely, we found ourselves (or myself) some kind of new tranquility at home. Well, for one, my maid does not speak much. Having less of just ONE person, aka the confinement lady at home DID make some difference. QUIET! Yeah, no more heavy cooking for me means less noise too (Please note that our house is SO SO SMALL). No more cooing my baby to sleep ( Me and my maid prefer a very silent and singing almost to quiet humming for the baby to fall asleep, :P) No more 3pm Hokkien dramas on TV. Ahhhhh.......what peace I find.

Though....I have to take care of baby at night. But having this 2nd confinement lady sort of train me to do all these liao la. Plus my good baby will have the 1st session of 4 - 5 hours long sleep from 8 or 9pm. That means I can also have some time to Jien or rest if I want.

UNTIL...(just 2 days later..duh..)

That night, Jung was so upset. He literally woke me up every hour at night. That night I was down with flu and cough. Perhaps I contract it from Jien who caught it right after the full moon Sunday family party for baby. I brought baby to the living room so that he did not wake his poor brother and father up. Plus Jung did not take air conditioning room well. He seems to have a bit of sinus problem ever since born! But that was an extra cold night and maybe I caught my cold due to the breeze and my ehhmm....sexy nightie...?!

All in all, it was awful for the next day. I slept my day thru and by night, I was still feeling chilly. After a good dose of Hor Yan Hor herbal tea from hubby (how could I forget this tea?!Thanks honey! LOVE ya!) I was fine except for the minor cough and running nose.

The drama then continued with baby getting the virus from me. I practically drown myself my Vit.C and other supplements so that I can pass them to baby and THANK GOD, he did take it well.

And then it was a weekend, not like any other weekend, but a weekend without my maid and it was hubby's birthday!! No cake!! Hubby went out and bought himself one!! hahaha...well, kesian hor? But actually it was more for Jien. He loves the lit candles and the song! We were so busy taking care of our 'bundle of joy' by ourselves and we were so so worn out by the end of the day and we did not even have the time to sing the birthday song and cut the cake..:P

What? Present? Yes of course I did get him one. I bought it about 2 weeks before baby was due. The present is a cool Mont Blanc belt. I like it and so is the big boy. And I already know what to get him for his next birthday!! He he he...

Gauging from this week, I doubt my maid can handle both the boys when I am set to go to work by June...O M G!










Cake cutting ..days later :)